Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Randomize
