yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
