I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
