yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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