Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
