Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
