Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i think i just lost a toe
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
