you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
