Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
