ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
