News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
