i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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