we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
