im gay
i know
yea but for you.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
