last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
