Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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