I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
