Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
