No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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