I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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