I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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