I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
