I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
