While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
