Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
