Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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