do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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