one two three fourrrrnication!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
