it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
