I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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