Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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