don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
