He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We are all done wearing pants today
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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