Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
