i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
