I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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