I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
