Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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