piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
