used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
