your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
