i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
