tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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