Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
