I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize