did you get engaged???
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
