My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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