try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
