Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
