So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
