if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
not ubering you a puppy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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