none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
