I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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