you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize