rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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