And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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