Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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