doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize