I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
