Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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