Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
