It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
