You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
