Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
