Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize