the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The air taste purple.
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