just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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