in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
