I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
