She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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