You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize