Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
